So I dont forget

I just got off orientation, which means I dont have an experienced nurse with me and checking on me. I am on. my. own. So please dont get hurt and come to the hospital just yet, because I dont feel quite ready to take care of you. Drive recklessly in a few months, but not now. So i am pretty much terrified to be working on my own. BUT something amazing happened my first day.

It went really well.

Not just ok, or a mad scramble to the end hoping nothing unexpected happened, but really, truly well. I had three patients, and two were pretty much fixed and ready to go home. Nonetheless, I took care of them for 12 hours, and everything went as planned. Meds were given on time, assessments were done and charted in a timely fashion, I went to lunch at a normal time, and I was able to give report to the night shift nurse and then leave! I didn't have to stay and catch up on anything, or go over my charting and make sure I hadn't forgotten anything! I feel like I really became a nurse today. I was on my own, with no one checking in to see how I was doing, and I made it. I've been working as a nurse since July, but I felt like today I left the floor and felt at ease with myself and a job well done. I wasn't worried that I messed up or somehow harmed anyone. It was such a nice feeling! I know there will be days I leave feeling like I could be responsible for a patient deteriorating, or feel like I did a terrible job and wonder why I ever wanted/thought I could do this in the first place. But today wasnt one of those days. And I am so thankful!