swirls of confusion

i dont even know.  when i think about where i am right now my stomach lurches, and i wonder if the heave was noticeable.  I hope not, but it feels so strong, so powerful, that it seems impossible it wasnt visible.  ugh. i used to be so sure of what i wanted, and now....?  confusion on all fronts. what to do, what to feel, what do i want, what do i need, what makes me really alive?  and honestly, i dont know.  

i know that when i am with someone consequences dont seem to exist.

i know that i love to laugh.  and smile. and just enjoy life.

i know that sometimes when my phone rings, and i see who is calling, i forget what movie i am about to see.

i know there are some things i will never say, no matter how much i may want to.

i know i need people in my life that can love and accept me for exactly who i am, and not try to change anything about me.

i know i want to be passionate about everything that i do.

i know we need to be passionate about some of the same things.

and really, those seven things are all i really know right now.