I know your scared...

that i'll soon be over it, that's part of it all. thank you joshua radin for words that flow, and drip, and breeze and mingle with music in a way that is equally beautiful and sad, sad in the way that makes me want to cry.

i feel like there are all of these things, all of these words, that are just rising in my chest like bubbles, but they pop right before I can get them out.  I dont quite know what they are, just that they are important, and need to be expressed, somehow.  but i dont seem to know how to let them out.  so instead of finding relief, i am left at a loss, unsure of my own thoughts.  so strange that i usually have thoughts about everything, and right now if you were to ask me what i am thinking, i would be caught of guard and tempted to make something up, because to answer 'nothing' sounds like i just dont want to say, when really it's the complete and terrifying truth.  

i know it's easy to say, but it's harder to feel this way.

i feel myself slipping away, and i dont know how to stop it.  i have felt it before at this point in a semester, like i am drowning beneath my obligations and responsibilities, but it feels different now.  

somehow, i'm leading someone else's life.  i cut a star down with my knife

I know that being overwhelmed and sleep deprived doesn't kill people, but i cant help but think it kills a part of them, that part that is vibrant, resilient, and beautiful.  just looking around i can see the light fading from people's faces, their eyes weary, brows heavy.

my hands shake, my knees quake, it's every day, the same way

how do i keep it from killing me?  its like fighting an invisible foe, i know, i know it's really serious...