I want to know right now...

There is magic in the smallest things, and sometimes the things you want to be magical are just big productions of nonsense, and you walk away none the better for witnessing them.  magic the way a cup of coffee can warm a part of me i didn't realize had grown so cold, in a silent embrace, in a shared laugh about something ridiculous, and in a beating heart.  I saw open heart surgery yesterday, the kind where the chest is opened and the heart is just there, right in front of your face, beating away.  magic.  i thought it was beautiful.  so exposed and bare, and a little poked and cut and things taken away and things added and it just kept beating, because that is what it was made to do.  and thank goodness for surgical masks, because i'm glad no one could see my open mouthed gape, i'm glad i could just revel in the wonder without trying to look composed.  and when asked about what i saw i cant help but gush.  

and as my words tumble out of my mouth as fast as i can say them, you smile at me in that small way i still haven't figured out, and i think there is magic in that, too.